By Thekla Vassiliou
- Psychologist (MSc)
- Systemic Psychotherapist
- President of the Hellenic Association of Systemic Psychotherapists
The start of a new school year is always a time of change for children—and for the whole family. A new class, new teachers, classmates, a schedule, and responsibilities replace the more relaxed pace and carefree nature of summer.
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For some children, going back to school brings joy, excitement, and anticipation. For others, however, the first bell may be accompanied by anxiety, insecurity, fear, or even intense distress. And this is something we need to remember: not all children experience going back to school in the same way, nor do they all need the same amount of time to adjust.
The change can be even more intense for children starting school for the first time, as well as for those changing school environments or educational levels. The transition from elementary school to middle school or from middle school to high school brings new demands, different relationships, and higher expectations—at a time when children and adolescents are already facing significant changes in their lives and development.
Let’s make room for emotions
Adjustment takes time. In the first few days or weeks, we may notice a child who is more nervous or irritable, has trouble sleeping, is more anxious, or even says they don’t want to go to school.
The first thing they need from us isn’t necessarily a solution. They need to feel that they can talk to us and that their feelings have a place in our relationship.
Often, in our effort to reassure a child, we might say, “There’s no reason to be afraid,” “Don’t worry,” or “You’ll get used to it.” These phrases are said with the best of intentions, but they may unintentionally make the child feel that what they’re feeling isn’t important or that they shouldn’t be feeling that way.
Perhaps it’s more helpful to just listen. To ask what’s troubling them, what’s worrying them, and what they need from us. We don’t need to make every difficult emotion disappear. We need to help the child recognize it, express it, and, little by little, learn that they can manage it.
Stability creates a sense of security
Returning to a stable daily routine can be a great help. A relatively consistent sleep and meal schedule, a structured school day, as well as time for rest, play, and activities help the child regain a rhythm and a sense of predictability after the holidays.
It’s just as important to be mindful of our own attitude as adults. Children understand much more than we often realize. They sense our anxiety, our expectations, and the pressure that may surround school and their performance.
If, from the very first days, our focus is on grades, studying, and “doing well,” there’s a risk that the new school year will be associated more with pressure than with learning.
Because school isn’t just about grades and exams. It’s about friends, relationships, experiences, successes, and disappointments. It’s a place where children learn not only math and language, but also about themselves, others, and the world around them. And, through all of this, they take small but important steps toward becoming independent.
When Anxiety Persists
A period of adjustment at the start of the school year is normal. However, there are times when we need to pay closer attention.
When anxiety or distress persists, is very intense, or begins to significantly affect the child’s sleep, relationships, daily life, or functioning at school, it’s important not to ignore these signs.
Communication between parents and the school is often a first and very helpful step toward gaining a more complete picture of what is happening. And when difficulties persist, support from a properly trained mental health professional can help both the child and the family better understand what is happening and find ways to manage it.
As the new school year begins, it’s worth remembering something simple: the first bell doesn’t sound the same to every child.
Behind excitement, silence, anger, a stomachache in the morning, or a “I don’t want to go to school” may lie very different emotions and needs.
Let’s give them space to talk to us. Time to adjust. And, above all, the assurance that whatever they’re feeling, they don’t have to face it alone.
