#zoomout
In January 2024, Prime Minister Mitsotakis, in an interview with ERT, referring, among other things, to the debate then taking place in Greece regarding adoption by same-sex couples, said the following: “There are children today….But these children, you know, do not have equal rights.”
The above statement encapsulates the essence of the discussion that must take place in Cyprus today, as the revision of family law is being finalized and the revision of the Adoption Law is still underway.
ΣΧΕΤΙΚΑ ΑΡΘΡΑ
Let’s consider the following scenario: Maria is a ten-year-old girl who has been raised since birth by her biological mother and her mother’s partner. Her mother is killed in a car accident. Her grandfather, as the closest relative, seeks custody and guardianship of her. He had never accepted his daughter’s choice and, for that reason, had no particular relationship with the child. The mother’s partner is fighting to ensure that the little girl can continue to live with her.
With the exception of the child’s name and age, the story above is true and was heard by the courts in the United States during the first decade of the 2000s. There are many other similar stories that have come to light in Greece, Italy, and France, and some of them have also been brought before the courts. I suspect there are similar stories in Cyprus as well, though they tend to receive less public attention here.
These stories have nothing to do with the right of two adults of the same sex to give birth to, adopt, or raise a child. They are about a child’s right, when the ground is pulled out from under their feet, to find refuge and comfort in the arms of the person closest to them. With their right to experience grief and loss while having—at the very least—the security and stability provided by the person closest to them in life, the one who cares for and loves them. With their right to continue living without having to change the second constant in their life as well.
In a broader context, these stories are about the rights that arise for a child from the relationship they develop with an adult who lives with them, raises and cares for them, and acts as a parent toward them. Rights to care, to decisions that affect them, and also to inheritance.
We must acknowledge a fundamental truth. What the law defines as a family is not always what a child feels is their family. For children, especially while they are still young, their parents are their whole world. Even if they aren’t legally recognized as their parents.
You don’t have to have raised a child to understand that a child doesn’t see us as parents simply because we gave birth to them. A child considers a parent to be the person who cares for them, protects them, and loves them selflessly. Who meets their basic needs. The one who provides for their food, shelter, hygiene, safety, health, and education. The one who stays awake by their side when they’re sick. Who reads them bedtime stories. Who dispels their fears. Who calms their outbursts and soothes their worries. The one who teaches them about the world.
Exactly what need are we fulfilling when we deprive a child who has lost one parent of the presence and care of the other? Which legal, religious, social, or other perspective on adoption takes precedence over what is best for a child?
This is also the approach taken by the courts that have addressed this issue. In other words, the question is what constitutes the best interests of the child in each specific case. After all, this is always the guiding principle for all decisions—big and small—that involve a child. This is also stipulated by the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child itself, which we as a country have ratified by law.
So let’s set aside whatever views each of us may have on the right of same-sex couples to have children. Admittedly, this is a difficult issue. Let’s focus on a child’s right not to experience a second loss by losing, along with one parent, the person they need by their side more than ever. Their other parent—even if that parent is only a “de facto” parent and not a “de jure” one.
