Before the tan from the summer of 2026 had even faded, the presidential race for February 2028 hit red. To be precise, it hit blue
In France, a country with 69 million inhabitants, the official campaign period for the first round of the presidential election lasts two weeks. Granted, this is preceded by about six months of political debate. It’s not as if the French wake up one morning and discover that they’re voting for a president on Sunday.
But in Cyprus?
ΣΧΕΤΙΚΑ ΑΡΘΡΑ
DIKO: What’s next after Anita?
DISY: A party with one ballot and two candidates
Eighteen.
Eighteen months and counting in a country where, let’s be honest, we even know exactly when our neighbor goes to the bathroom. And who they had dinner with the night before. And yet, on an island where the most common question is “Whose side are you on, Mom?” it takes us nearly two years of campaigning to decide who’s next in line for the presidency.
In a country where if you lift a rock, you’ll find a cousin or a best man underneath. Lately, even a candidate. Sometimes—if the rock is big enough—all of them together.
Before the tan from the summer of 2026 had even faded, the presidential race for February 2028 was already in full swing. To be precise, it went blue.
Let’s move on.
The dance, of course—we must acknowledge that it’s led by the master himself. Our President. Who, riding the momentum, has been in pre-election fever since 2022. After all, why stop something you know how to do well? Why go to the trouble of starting over? It’s no big deal…
And then came the Alarm. And it sounded the alarm.
Nominations. Candidacies. Announcements. Withdrawals. Timelines. Internal party polls. Meetings. Dinners. Seafood restaurants. Publishers. Threats. Blackmail. Whispers. But also unity. Above all, unity.
Just like the primaries they talk about in America! Will we see debates, too? Uncle Sam must be jealous of us. And Kimberly, too—whom Argyros is desperately searching for in his Athens.
You wake up in the morning and there are only two topics on the air: Vissi-Karvelas and the Presidential Election. The country has no other problems. Everything is going so smoothly that all we’re left with are the artists’ breakups and Synagermos’ matchmaking.
It’s October, and we’re already worn out. October 2026.
And they’re even giving you a hard time from the outside. “Seriously, you still haven’t found a candidate?” As if the point were to have someone run a two-year pre-election marathon, instead of discussing what’s happening here today.
The term of office is five years.
It takes six months just to figure out what’s going on—to tell the ministers from the advisors, the advisors from the commissioners, and the commissioners from the cronies. Another eighteen to get through the next five years.
Well, that leaves you three more years to govern.
That’s fine.
And just like that, governing the country has turned into a brief interlude between two long-running election campaigns.
The funny thing is that, while we’re discussing who will govern in 2028 and 2033, someone has to be governing right now.
But who has time for that?
P.S. Gas is at two euros a liter and counting. It’ll cost you a kidney just to start the car. Electricity bills are through the roof. We’re one click away from taking out subprime loans. Rents are skyrocketing. Paychecks run out before the month is over.
People are struggling. And they’re really struggling.
Well, let them eat fish at a fish tavern.
